On Ferenginar, Comcast is Business as Usual

Finally, I’ve got internet hooked up at home. My nine day hiatus from the interwebz is at a temporary end. I am hesitant to say it is at an end without qualifications because I have very little faith in the company hosting my service. I’ve done a lot of reading about Comcast: their customer service is bottom of the barrel sucky in markets where they actually have competition.  I now live in a market where they have a monopoly. This has not improved their ratings. Their company motto would seem to be “We’re all you’ve got, so give us money and don’t expect too much.” They’re the Ferengi of ISPs. Caveat Emptor, indeed.

The person who came to my house to install the modem and get me hooked up did not know the difference between a network security key, a network key, and a password. (Hint: There’s no difference. They’re all the same thing.) Despite her claims to have done this “hundreds of times” she still had to call her own company’s tech support to get assistance. She also didn’t listen to me when I suggested we try inputting the recorded network security key into the field asking for a network key. My only consolation was that she was put on hold by her own crappy company. Also, she blamed degradation of the coaxial cable in my house for the connectivity problems instead of her own incompetence and the crappiness of her company. She had suspiciously large ears.

So, I had no other choices for my internet service. (Unless I wanted to get a satellite, which I didn’t. Satellites are expensive.) I have found myself wondering multiple times in recent days how they aren’t being investigated by the FCC for antitrust violations. I have since discovered that perhaps they are in fact under the government’s microscope, so I am hoping they get their proverbial crap together or face comeuppance.

The representative that came to my house seemed genuinely confused that I wasn’t excited about getting a new email address with an @comcast.net suffix. The only use for this email address, which I was required to have, is to receive my paperless bill. The first email I received from them was a confirmation of services and indicated that my first bill would be $12 more than the quote I was given by the rep. I signed a service agreement with the amount on it, so I can contest the billing amount, but, like the Ferengi, Comcast’s business model includes the mantra “Once you have their money, you never give it back.” I am debating whether or not to contact her to point this out, or wait until I see the bill itself.

Lastly, the rep and the disembodied voice on the phone (whom the rep put on speaker) set up a technician service visit to “check the lines” of my existing cables because they were having difficulties with the set-up. I will no doubt be charged a ridiculous amount for this service call, the results of which will be the tech telling me there’s nothing wrong with the hardware. I suspect that if I cancel the service visit, I will get charged anyway. Never trust a Ferengi in overalls. Or white jorts and tennis shoes without socks.

In summation, there is nothing wrong with my coaxial cable. It’s the company that is degraded.