Left Shark onesies are now for sale on Katy Perry’s website. These adult sized pajamas are light blue with white underbellies, have hoods that pull over the wearer’s face, and feature the shark’s face on the upper chests. I’m sure they’ll be a quick seller. I might even buy one myself except they say “Katy Perry” in big block letters on the back and I’m not into that. The point is, you can buy some amazingly weird crap on the internet. I really wish there was a Left Shark/Pierre the Llama onesie mash-up option.
Some of my favorite items are of the mash-up variety. Just this morning my brother sent me a link to a t-shirt titled “Teen Worf” with the obligatory Teen Wolf/Star Trek TNG mash-up I’ve apparently been waiting for these last twenty years. How has this not existed before now? Holy cow, I just noticed that shirt is only seven bucks. Those are gonna sell out fast. My favorite mash-up shirt is my Scooby-Doo/monster apocalypse one featuring a badass Velma and a vicious Scooby mourning the rest of the gang--eaten by zombies for being slow and/or stoned (Shaggy)—while cruising around in the Mystery Machine modified to have pop-out chain saws equipped on the sides. It’s kind of like Will Smith and what-was-the-dog’s-name? in I Am Legend only with a hip, smart woman and fewer plot conveniences.
But I digress. I was talking about how much awesomely useless stuff you can get from the internet. You name it, it can be yours. For example, “What Color is the Dress?” gay porn fan-fiction is now a reality. I think you might even be able to download and read that for free. I’m sure many people have.
Sometimes mash-ups go horribly wrong. And by that I mean that they go horribly right for the internet. I recently saw a picture of someone’s Harry Potter/Insane Clown Posse tattoo (it was a close-up so I couldn’t tell what body part it was on.) It was a picture of Harry holding a wand with his face painted up like a Juggalo and below him it said “Muggalo” in a weird font. If was both a JK Rowling fan and an ICP fan, this would be the jewel in my tattooed crown. Kudos to this individual with very contrary tastes in fandom. I hope he (or she? Probably not) doesn’t get his ass kicked by the other Juggalos.
In summation, mash-ups are the greatest invention of the twenty-first century; Velma should be teamed up with Carol on The Walking Dead; and a PayPal account and a couple of mouse-clicks are all that stand between you and your heart’s desire.