Do you think there’s an alien planet out there that’s populated by cynical aliens staring at Earth (they call it planet 943) through a telescope debating about whether we exist? These aliens live on a planet vastly different from ours where the sky is orange and the grass is purple. Or maybe they don’t have grass. They sleep on their faces and talk out of their asses. Okay, maybe they’re not that different from us. The point is, their disbelief in us does not actually make us less real.
Just like Congressional disbelief in climate change. A lot of things exist whether we believe in them or not and a lot of things don’t exist just because we believe they do. Beliefs are fine, but they don’t create reality. Condoms prevent pregnancy and diseases. Vaccines don’t cause autism. A few days ago in New Zealand, a pod of about 200 pilot whales got beached from a low tide and half of them died even though rescuers stepped in to try to refloat them. This didn’t happen because whales are easily confused; although, some disbelievers claimed that’s just what happened. No. Human impact on the planet’s climate is effing everything up. Whales are getting stuck. Bees are disappearing. Polar bears are drowning in the Arctic. Gah!
Did you know that there is a huge floating pile of garbage in the Pacific Ocean. Seriously, it’s called Great Pacific garbage patch and it has a Wikipedia entry. Google has pictures. Don’t look at them unless you want to get really depressed about the future of the planet. I should not have looked myself because now I have the image of a sea turtle disfigured by a plastic ring forever burned into my head. Apparently the ring got caught around his midsection when he was a young turtle and he grew into the ring, which now splits his shell in half like an hourglass. There, now you have the image stuck in your head too.
I know you’re reading this hoping I’ll be funny or ironic or even a bit peevish, and I am all of those things most of the time, but today I am annoyed with the human race refusing to take action on actual scientific facts because of stupid beliefs that hold everyone back. I’m not talking about beliefs that can’t be proven one way or another, like whether Jesus was real or whether unicorns poop rainbows; I’m talking about stuff we already know for sure, like that there is a finite amount of fossil fuel and we are less than 20 years away from having caused irreversible damage to the entire planet. Some scientists say it’s already too late. I’m depressed. And yet, I am still driving my car. I am a hypocrite.
In summation, I wonder if the face-sleeping aliens have an extra moon they aren’t using because I think we’re going to need a place to stay.