Raise your hand if you’re an Elder Scrolls video game series fan. (Shout out to DJ Orc’s Blood; I know your hand is up.) I want to tell you about my love of this pop culture artifact that a million other people also love. Video games are weird because I love something personally and privately in my own home that literally millions of other people love just as intimately as I do.
So, I’ve been playing TES games since 2004, when Morrowind was the latest greatest thing. It changed my world. Unfortunately, it ate up my free time like nobody’s business. I used to write books and stories and I don’t even know what I used to do with my free time before video games were a thing I could actually access anytime I wanted. (It was before blogging.)
Morrowind was (and is, in my opinion) the greatest RPG video game ever. Newbies enjoy Skyrim, and it’s pretty great, but nothing compares to how amazing Morrowind was at the time, and how it continues to be playable a decade later: Swords and magic and a world so open you could play the game for days without actually playing the game. (If you’ve played the game, this makes sense.) I can call lots of gamers who think they’re not newbies newbies because I have been playing video games since literally before they were born. Shut the hell up, kid. I had an Atari 2600 when that was cutting edge technology. Yes, that makes me old. It also gives me hella nerd cred.
Anyway, my love of Morrowind was accidental. I wasn’t looking to fall in love. I was just killing some time in a used CD and game shop looking for some compatible titles for my romantic partner who’d just brought home a fancy new gadget called an X-Box. (No, not an X-Box One or an X-box 360, just a plain old brand new X-Box. It was the dark ages.) I found a game with a picture of an elf standing in the middle of a city looking kind of smug, bought it, and the rest is history. I played that game endlessly. Fortunately, my S.O. left for military training in another state so I didn’t have to share the controller.
I have played and re-played Morrowind start- to-finish I don’t know how many times. I’ve played the expansions and the DLC, and I’ve even run mods. (If you don’t know what these things are, you’re not a gamer, which is fine. Google is your friend.) I know that there are people out there who feel similarly about this game. They, too, want Morrowind to be forever. Sadly, like the penny-farthing and the Nokia 3310, Morrowind has been replaced by faster, shinier toys. I therefore pen this open letter to TES’s developers.
Dear Bethesda Softworks: I have finished every quest in The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, and have played TES IV, and V, Fallout 3, and Fallout: New Vegas. I am ready for a new game. How are you coming with Fallout IV and TES VI? (For the uber-newbs out there, Fallout is basically the Elder Scrolls in the post-apocalyptic future.) The Elder Scrolls Online was just not for me. I am an introvert with zero interest in playing in a MMORPG environment, and if I was WOW is free up to level 12. (I tried it and got bored by level 2.) I therefore sincerely ask that you please make me a new toy in keeping with the very best RPG work you’ve produced already (see above re. Morrowind.) Thank you, your humble nerd.
In summation, it’s cold and snowy outside and I want to stay in my pajamas all day playing video games. Send Cheetos.